You Are Indeed An Experienced Hand, Prez Ogwanfunu!

Good Morning, Sir! How has life been for you in opposition for the past twenty-one moons? I’m sure it hasn’t been too bad considering the fact that your pocket has already been lined with cowries from numerous inflated projects and create, loot and share schemes when you were president. Not also forgetting the fact that the state is taking care of all your expenditure as a former president.

It is the reason some of your compatriots have wondered why you desperately seek a second-coming. Many see your second-coming as a blasphemous act considering the fact that this country already has a political ‘Christ’ in the person of your party’s founder, Dr Boom, aka Junior Jesus. Being a religious country dominated by Christians and Muslims, I’m not sure the electorate will pardon you for the politically blasphemous act.

Many others have also wondered how a ‘dead-goat’ could resurrect from the dead. Having experienced the negative effects of the dead-goat syndrome, they shudder to imagine the disastrous effect of the ‘resurrected dead-goat’ syndrome.

Yet another group see your second-coming as a desperate move to wipe out the shame inflicted on you by President Nana Dee. They say you seek to avenge the devastating beating you received in 2016. Like the others, they too are not optimistic about your chances.

Even many from the eagle-headed Umbrella fraternity do not see your second-coming as a good omen. They believe it is time for you to leave the stage for others to takeover. No wonder close to twelve are contesting you for the flagbearership position of your party.

But I know you are not perturbed. In my mind’s eye I see you laughing at the pessimists and referring to their views as ‘useless Lamentations’. I also see you exhibiting beautiful dance steps to Daddy Lumba’s ‘Yentie obiaa’ song.

By the way, how has campaigning been for you so far? I believe it is encouraging. Being a former president, I know many of your appointees will not forsake you.

Indeed, I’ve seen footages of your campaign so far and I must say they look impressive. With Ambassador ‘Antoa’ leading the campaign, I doubt if any delegate will dare to take your cowries without fulfilling their end of the bargain. A smart choice, indeed!

But I’ve observed one deficiency in your campaign. You concentrate too much on attacking the Nana Dee government without offering policy alternatives. It seems you’ve not learnt any lesson from the 2016 campaign where your mouth-twisting ‘e dey be keke’ and ‘no abaabaase’ only secured 44.4% for you.

I, however, agree with you on the score that your party must present an experienced hand for the December 7, 2020 polls. I agree because experience is very important when it comes to steering the affairs of state.

Without a doubt, you are very experienced in that wise. We all know how experienced you are in mismanagement. SADA, GYEEDA, Bus Branding and Double Salary easily come to mind. Your experience in mismanaging the economy is second to none. Your so-called homegrown policy to IMF is a clear example to mention.

Yes, we remember vividly! You may be under the illusion that your compatriots have short memories. But the truth is that some of us are an exception.

Indeed, we’ve not forgotten your experience in buying V8 vehicles for chiefs and building¬†houses for political clowns like Akua Donkor. We still remember the inflated contracts and numerous create, loot and share schemes under your watch as president.

Sir, we’ve tasted your experienced hands before. It was nothing but a cocktail of corruption and incompetence. Yes, we need experience hands to run this country, but not your kind.

Being a dead-goat, a resurrected one at that, I doubt if you will ever heed to any good counsel. But do remember that not even a resurrected dead-goat can resist the efficacy of a sharp knife.

I shall write to you again, Deo volente!